...Ok where do I start? Well first off, the only thing you really got points for in my book is that the game is very retro. For that I applaud you. Retro and quality however are two different things. First thing is that this was obviously done with a medium that is very easy to operate which is why I'm wondering why circles weren't perfect and shapes weren't more clean. The graphics aren't good but you could have got points for that by simply paying attention to detail.
This game is in no way original. I realize the point wasn't to attempt originality it was to be humorous which you did a pretty good job at because internet explorer sucks and chrome is the best.
The game was simple and short.
My biggest problem with this game however, and I sound like a broken record to anyone who follows my reviews but upgrade upgrade upgrade... where the hell are the upgrades? I realize that would have done nothing but make the game easier but damn, there isn't a high score screen, or upgrades thus there is no point for points. The coins are useless.
One thing I noticed that made this game really simple is the fact that not one enemy was on a different level platform than the one you are standing on so unless you are stupid or too rash, there is literally no threat from anything but the bosses.
Long story short, I find it extremely difficult to rate this game anything more than a 2. The only 2 positive things I can think of is the humor and the music. A game simply being retro is not really a positive or a negative so I suppose I misspoke [or mis-typed] in my first paragraph. I don't know if you were attempting to make a high quality game or desired recognition for making a good game or if you just wanted to be humorous but you did succeed in only one aspect which is the humor, which is why I'm wondering why this game has almost a 4 star rating... Newgrounds players seem to be losing their standards over the years... shame. 2/5