First: No deviation in your rhythm scheme through out the whole song = annoying and hard to listen and pay attention to for there was nothing impressive. You should have put lyrics down so I could at least have something to read while I'm listening to the cool beat because I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics.
Whoever dubbed your vocals should be shot or, at the very least, should have a serious discussion about never doing it again... ever. If it was you that dubbed your voice, it's soooo sloppy it almost made me want to stop listening a few times. I'm not even sure if you simply copied the vocal track into a second one and moved it over slightly or if you just rapped out the second track. Either way you should have used the volume controls on certain emphasized words and lower or raise the levels in order to make it more smooth. Certain parts were just too separated. One thing that I've found could help smooth things over is to record call out tracks emphasizing words or saying dumb shit like "yeeu" and "ung"... as cheesy as that sounds, I encourage you to try it lol.
The beat was HAAM though (yes... hard as a mutha fucker)
-------- 3/5 --------
It has interesting lyrics. I think your rhythm scheme was a bit... awkward. Good use of vocabulary and good production work make this more than worth listening to in my opinion so good job there.
Try some triplet, sixteenth, and thirty-second beats in another piece in the future because it's always impressive when people mix up the rhythm frequently in rap songs instead of just using quarter and eighth beats with the occasional sixteenth... if any... I'm currently listening to find out....... ;-]........ Nope. Not a single sixteenth beat.
Your smart though so you'll figure it out. Again, nice lyrics, nice audio production and overall sound quality, mix up your rhythm scheme a little bit and you'll get much more appreciation from the listener.
----------- 3.5/5 -----------
The lyrics are good buuuutttt.... vocals sound forced. The trick to good rap is smooth texture. I suppose your 'nerdcore' is in your tag which would explain why your vocals sound in such a way - too much diction almost to the point of annoyance. It's just not smooth.
The production seems pretty good. I don't know if this was purposeful, I think it was though, but it sounded as if the audio was in a haze like it was produced in the early 90s. I like it. I do wish there was some variety in the drum beats though because it seemed as though that was just an unnecessary piece of the song almost as if you would have lost nothing in the song by removing it all together.
------- 4/5 -------
So true man. No one listens to compositions anymore. The way the music industry is set up now-a-days is all marketable to women [why they like being treated like shit bags I'll never know but I guess it's their right]. So men, as most men do, follow the shaking, bouncing ass and titties and don't give much of a shit what the song, as a whole, really sounds like. Then they further make themselves look like asses by buying into the clothing and bling just to pick up women or to project "hood success" when really all it does is let the rest of us know who has an I.Q. of less than 1OO and can't think for themselves. [I've actually seen people show up to interviews dressed like that lmfao]
As long as it has a rhythm [a shitty one but loud bass is what we're looking for with rudimentary high hat fills] and talks about success at the expense of others, doing drugs most people have never seen in person, emulating the thug life, talking as dirty as possible about women... etc.... or has one, singular, halfway cool guitar lick - I realize different genre but it's all the same crap.
Then we have that other genre... christ these kids these days are fucking dumb.... I'm done ranting.
Maybe I'll do a Go Home and Get Stoned parody someday... It'll go ---- Gooo hooomeee..... and Smack your moooom.... Tell her that you know-oh that you are a big mistake...... And I'll sound like a mixture between Nickleback and cookie monster... The kids'll love it.
---------- 5/5 -----------
Haha, hit the nail on the head!
Excellent submission! Very well thought out piece. I will be submitting my entry for the contest here shortly and I'm glad to see someone else who is melodie driven! I have to agree with the previous reviewer about the volume though. I don't think it's solely a master volume problem though, I think you should have spent a little more time mixing it down and smoothing out the edges - by edges I mean the different sound tracks and rhythm transitions should have been smoothed over.
Another opinion I would nitpick about, and I say that because it's not that big of an issue, is a little louder on the lows would go far. The piece sounds a tad nasal which is an indication of too high mids and not high enough lows.
Good luck in the contest!
Thanks for the feedback, I will be fixing up this song soon, I've just been busy with school and some other stuff so I didn't have much time.
Also I look forward to hearing another more melodic song in the contest and I wish you good luck in the contest :)
I wish it was longer! This is my favorite one so far. Make more!
------- 5 -------
I think this tune would also benefit from more bass volume. You do need a lead line in there as well. I also agree with the previous reviewer on a couple things: it was a little repetitive and it doesn't sound bad quality in the recording. You definitely did much better in this one with drum volume but I would have liked the drums to be a little more complex. What you lacked in drum speed you could have made up for in complexity with offbeat crash and rids with 2 measure tom solos.
Just a little more lows in the guitar sound
---------- 4/5 -----------
It sounds cool. I think you should lower the level on the beat though. I don't know how well you know garageband but you could actually raise and lower the volume of specific tracks throughout the song, so you can change the volume of the drums to make certain parts stand out. What might help is specific hits for each different drum sound you want in your production. This would allow you to control the volume to each specific part according to how technical your riffs are.
Your guitar sounded pretty sweet. I don't think there was a bass line but if there was it wasn't loud enough but if not that would certainly bring out your guitar a little stronger against the drum beats.
Nice production but a little more volume control would have been appreciated. Nice guitar riffs.
---------- 4/5 ----------
Thanks! I wanted to make the double kicks stand out, for I like them very much. Yeah, I can see where you're coming from with the altering hits. I haven't really experimented with that yet. As far as bass, I usually just have it follow the guitar. I didn't want to compromise the guitar by having too much bass, so that's why it's as low as it is.
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